Things the New Job Pays For that Make Me Very Happy and For Which I am Very Grateful:

1. Gas
2. Patrick’s Car Insurance
3. Cell Phones (although I do mourn the loss of text messaging)
4. Trips to Vegas with many happy and delicious adult beverages
5. Health Insurance
6. Patrick’s Shiny New-ish Tahoe (which he has already wrecked, ran out of gas, AND fallen prey to a red-light camera)

Things My Mother Has Tried to Convince Me The New Job SHOULD Pay For If I Would Only Ask My Daddy and If I Don’t Then She Will Tell Him To Pay For Them Anyway Because He Just Should:

1. The $400 I spent at the Bellagio Spa
2. A gym membership
3. Someone to clean my house twice a month
4. Manicures (because of the TYPING! All that TYPING!)

I think I am working for the wrong parent…