There is an untold story among young wives who never expected to find themselves married. In our previous existences, we were party girls. You could find us in bars and clubs when we probably should have been studying, our daytime clothing usually looked slept in, our textbooks served only to keep our issues of Cosmo and JANE from flying away as we lounged by the pool and we lived on macaroni and cheese and fast food because we were often too drunk or stoned to expend further brain power. We did just enough to get by in school, we may or may not have graduated but we had enough brains to avoid completely going off the deep end. We dated jerk after jerk, always convinced that we could turn this lifestyle in to a future even when we didn’t have the faintest idea what else that future might hold.

And at some point, maybe as a novelty, we tried on the “nice guy” for size. Much to our astonishment, he fit like the proverbial glass slipper. We all had our own versions of the journey, meeting his friends, bringing him home to our parents, slowly severing ties with a life that lost a little bit of its appeal every day we spent in this foreign world of productivity, daylight and sobriety. But for every single one of us, the end result was the same. We became the nice guy’s wife and found ourselves faced with a new world to navigate.

Instead of sitting in a circle passing around a joint or shooting tequila before heading out to parties, bars, or concerts, we find ourselves at Pampered Chef parties quietly wondering if anyone else realizes just what a great bong that cookie press would make. We go to work, we grocery shop, do laundry, cook dinner, stand outside and talk to neighbors, decorate houses, go to the gym, coach soccer and raise children. We are women with unique stories and not one of us ever saw ourselves ending up where we are today. And we all think we’re alone and stranded without a map or an instruction manual.

But eventually, we find our place. We end up being the girls who throw the best dinner parties, we entertain, we plan trips, and we are the hostesses and the comic relief with the quirky taste in movies and music. Quickly, we learn just how much of our former lives are accepted as comfortable cocktail party banter and if we accidentally take it one joke too far it only happens once. Before our very eyes and almost without effort we blossom into the social butterflies of suburbia. Other wives marvel at our abilities to create festive atmospheres and include everyone in our events; we even find ourselves as the go-to girls for recipes and decorating advice. And we learn to keep it a secret that we’re simply planning the same parties we always have. The only differences are a nicer venue, slightly larger budgets, and a lack of illegal substances.

Once we figure it all out, it’s a breeze. We are everywhere but we’d be far less lonely if we knew we weren’t in uncharted waters…