Published by PaintingChef on 04 Dec 2006 at 05:17 pm
Giving myself a headache.
I don’t hide this blog, my name is out there, you all know what city and state I live in and you’ve seen a select few pictures that I’ve decided don’t make me look like I just barbecued a rhino and chowed down. But at the same time, I don’t tell many people about it. Nobody I work with knows about it, only one of my friends that I see on a regular basis and none of my family except for my sister has ever read this site. Its not that I’m hiding it from them, I wouldn’t be upset or embarrassed if they came across it, I just…haven’t told them.
At first, it was no big deal. It was just a silly little thing that I did, this whole blogging thing. Type a few jokes, make fun of some idiots, bitch about the ovaries and blow off a little steam. But its become more than that. At the risk of sounding incredibly lame, it’s a big part of my life, I love it, its therapy and its worked better than anything I’ve ever tried… even most of the drugs. And I’ve made some great friends, people who have had big impacts on my life and especially my whole perspective on the infertility mess. Those people are now just as dear to me as the friends that I’ve had for years and years.
So at what point does NOT telling people in my everyday life about it become dishonest. Because that’s how its starting to feel. I’ve recently told a very dear friend who moved away (Hi Kat!) about this site and she emailed me and told me that she wished she had known all these sides of me when she was living here. And I didn’t even realize that there WERE other sides of me, I’ve always kind of considered myself a “here it is, this is me, I’m loud and a pain in the ass, take it or leave it but I make good cookies if that helps so please be nice to me because I have hidden oh so sensitive feelings…” kind of girl.
If your friends and/or families know about your sites, how did they find out? Did they stumble across them or did you tell them? What were their reactions? Did you feel the need to be more careful about what you wrote? I don’t want to censor myself, I think that would be dishonest…
9 Responses to “Giving myself a headache.”
Crazy Lady in Vegas on 04 Dec 2006 at 6:08 pm #
I have two sites. One “family” one; which is ok for for grandparents, parents, aunt, uncles, blah blah blah. And another one where I can express or vent, or what ever is needed. One is all sunshine and roses, and the other one is the one where I can let my cracks and imperfections show. Only two of my family members know about my non-family site. And they are of my generation, not the older set. Heck, until recently – my husband hadn’t even read my other site. He knew about it, he just never expressed interest in it. I don’t feel like I’m hiding it, I just don’t disclose it. I like it that way.
LaLa Lisa on 04 Dec 2006 at 6:10 pm #
I’m such a blog slacker lately. And after reading your post I think I now know why. Too many “real life” people know about my blog. Members of my family, the hubby, the in-laws, friends,etc all have the address. I think I regret that because inevitably you can’t help but censor yourself knowing that they are reading. Especially the in-laws!
I’ve thought about starting a new blog, but I think I’m still recovering from wedding planning which just sucked all the humor and wit right out of me…or maybe it was never there. Hehe. Send me an email if you get a chance so we can catch up.
Lianne on 04 Dec 2006 at 6:47 pm #
Well, considering that they used my blog as an excuse to fire me at my last job, and that my religious leaders know about it and check up on my spiritual health, I really don’t tell people about my blog anymore. But hell, you can google my name and see that I get into all kinds of trouble.
You will know who to tell. If you don’t feel right about it, don’t do it.
Frema on 05 Dec 2006 at 10:01 am #
I started my blog when I was with a previous employer, and I made a big point of telling everyone about it. My family knows about it, and my friends. Some of them read it, some of them don’t. I’ve told nobody at my current job.
Back when I thought my dad’s mom–the one who scared me with stories of the devil when I was a kid–would never read the site, I talked about some family issues and relayed some conversations that I would never discus now. I didn’t mind so much because she was on the outs with my parents and I never thought she’d have the technical know-how to find it. Well, now everyone’s fine, and she found it this summer. She read it like a book and wrote me an e-mail telling me how hateful I was. I guess the phrase “crazy fundamentalist grandmother” is a bit much.
I’m in the process of switching my blog over to TypePad, and before I go live with it, I’m going to go through those entries and do a little editing; I’ve already deleted one entry from early on that wasn’t a literary masterpiece and did more damage than good. There’s only a few entries I’m even remotely concerned about, and I don’t plan on refraining from talking about family in the future, but I will follow the old adage “If you can’t say it to their face, don’t say it at all.”
That was long, huh?
Frema on 05 Dec 2006 at 10:01 am #
P.S. My blog is an insanely important part of my life. Don’t be embarrassed at all for that.
Smoness on 05 Dec 2006 at 10:45 am #
Delurking (I’m a totally shameless blog stalker. I usually say “hi” but for whatever reason I haven’t introduced myself yet. So.. HI! I love reading you and stuff).
I have a ba-gillion family members. Some of them know about my blog, some don’t. My parents know that I keep a blog but I have never given them the URL. If they’re crafty enough to find it, they deserve to read it. I am a completely open book. I don’t really care who reads my blog, and I like that it’s a great way to keep so many people in my life informed of what I’m up to. If there happens to be anything that I feel uneasy about anyone reading, I just don’t post it; but there really isn’t much in that arena.
Just Me on 05 Dec 2006 at 1:27 pm #
I’ve been a silent lurker on your site for a while. But thought that this was a good post to post my first comment on.
I keep my site hidden from people. Not because I’m dishonest or hiding it from them, I just want it to be my place to vent. I have two blogs my normal one and my infertility one. When I first started my blog I vented about eveything – family, work, people’s driving, you name it. I told my twin sister about it and she found my blog – I didn’t give her the link. She was offended by it. I never said anything mean about her but she felt I was hiding things from her. I have had to censor what I put on my blog just in case she reads or any of my family reads it. So I think you just have to think about what your family and friends reactions would be if they read your blog. Some will find humor others will be offened, you can’t make everyone happy.
cadiz12 on 05 Dec 2006 at 5:43 pm #
i work crappy hours. i mean REALLY CRAPPY. like i don’t see best friends who live in the same city for more than six months at a time or five days without even seeing my roommates awake. because when i’m not working i’m sleeping and both of those tasks are done opposite the schedule of most other living beings.
my blog keeps me sane. i didn’t want to tell anyone at first, but now pretty much everyone knows. it’s the only way they can tell if i’m alive or not because of the frequency they get their heads ripped off and thrown back at them for phoning me at inopportune times. at first i tried to censor what i said, especially when i found out that my boyfriend’s mother was going through the archives for signs of psychosis, but now i figure she’ll have to deal. f-bombs and all. love it or leave it. that said, i never get too specific about work, for obvious reasons.
people should feel honored you share this with them.
Toryssa on 05 Dec 2006 at 10:07 pm #
only my Mom knows about mine, but she only read when I was living out of the country.
at first i didn’t tell anyone because i didn’t think it was a big deal, and really i felt like a big fat geek. more geek than i am comfortable with.
and now, i don’t know. i feel like it would be weird to say, “so i’ve had this blog for almost three years…” it feels like it’s past the time to tell.