Published by PaintingChef on 29 Nov 2005 at 10:10 am
In one year, I will have to act like a grown up. I should start practicing now.
I am a nervous wreck. And likely to remain so for an entire year. Patrick is going to be on call next Thanksgiving (meaning he must be within two hours of work at all times) so we are going to invite the whole famdamily down here for turkey, football, and wine. Lots and lots of wine. There are several problems with this scenario:
1. I don’t have a whole hell of a lot of room in my house. Don’t get me wrong, three bedrooms for two people is more than enough room. But three bedrooms for like anywhere from ten to fifteen people is a little bit of a stretch.
2. I have kind of a small kitchen. Thanksgiving has been at my parents’ house for as long as I can remember. And my parents have this enormous kitchen that is ideal for all of us getting in there and making a big ass mess on Thanksgiving. Me? Not so much. I am already stressed out about this. Where will everyone go?
3. We do not bake turkeys; we cook them on the grill. Well, my daddy cooks them on the grill and they are Y-U-M-M-Y. I? Have never in my life cooked a turkey and Patrick? Has already told me he doesn’t know how to carve a turkey. The rest of the cooking does not scare me because one thing I can do and do VERY WELL is cook. And for lots of people. No worries there. Is a turkey really necessary? Yeah…I guess it kind of is. Damn.
4. I am also concerned about where all these alleged people will sit to eat. (Along with where they will sleep and shower and poop and such.)
5. I am hoping with every fiber of my being that I won’t have to stress about most of these things because next Thanksgiving I will be all knocked up and shit and people will do the worrying for me while saying just sit down and put your feet up. Here, this little teensy glass of wine will be just what you need (because in my family, that cures everything and we are firm believers in the one glass a day theory unless you are pregnant and then you only get two glasses a week…no hate mail people, it has been medically approved.)
6. In spite of all this (and the mother-in-law’s none too happy reaction to the news that Thanksgiving would NOT be in Knox Vegas next year) I’m actually pretty excited about it. I think it will make me feel VERY grown up. Which I still refuse to believe that I am. Although I am closing in on 30 with rapid speed so at some point I’m probably going to have to step out of the whole denial thing…
Zube Girl on 29 Nov 2005 at 10:32 am #
Dude, I say you take a practice run a couple of months before with some friends who wouldn’t mind ordering pizza in if things go terribly wrong. Which they won’t.
Don’t worry. Seriously. When my Mom came out to visit me, you should have seen her work that bitch of a kitchen with two square feet of counter space. I think it’s a Mom thing.
And I’m crossing my fingers that you’re knocked up then. I’m so with you on the wine thing, too.
lysie6211 on 29 Nov 2005 at 12:11 pm #
Yeah I’d get a mini turkey and try it out. That way you could practice the cooking and Patrick could practice the carving. That way if you need to get him a special knife to make things easier. Seriously though…have you ever fried a turkey? Damn good shit. Anyways I wouldn’t stress I’m sure it will all work out fine. Give the ‘rents the rooms and make everyone else figure out where they are sleeping. (Sofa city or hotel) Either way it sounds fun and very ‘grown up’.
West Coast Mia on 29 Nov 2005 at 12:49 pm #
I don’t know what zip code you are in but you should go to The Honeybaked Ham Company. I know there is one is 30909. They have pre-cooked hams and turkeys. You pop the turkey in the oven for about an hour and a half and you are ready to go. I had Thanksgiving at my house this year and decided I didn’t want to get up at the butt crack of dawn to start cooking. Everyone loved the food and I couldn’t tell the difference that I didn’t cook it all day. Take Care, Moria ( La La Lisa’s big sis)
Bonanza Jellybean on 29 Nov 2005 at 1:59 pm #
You’re in the South, girl!! Get someone to FRY you a turkey! There are tons of guys around who already have the oil hot and don’t mind doing it- as a matter of fact, I have a buddy who does ours every year. Just say the word, and I’ll get you one done too.
Painting Chef on 29 Nov 2005 at 2:48 pm #
We’ve had the fried turkey many times, I really prefer the smoked one, plus that fryer makes SUCH a mess. I have a turkey fryer and everything. Don’t get me wrong, the fried turkey is great and all, but that smoked turkey is HEAVEN!
donna on 29 Nov 2005 at 3:23 pm #
I say you either buy the turkey and make your dad make and carve it for you, or you go to Honeybaked Ham and get a smoked turkey. They are really good, and it will save your oven space for all the other goodies!
Amy on 29 Nov 2005 at 5:47 pm #
Amen to the wine thing!!! We’ve had a big to-do at our house for Christmas Day every year since we bought our house with the tiny, crappy kitchen. I stress and freak out every year and the only year I didn’t was when I was pregnant and a week away from giving birth becauase… what are you going to do when you are that huge?
I feel for you… I really do.
Perhaps you should go for something a little more potent than wine? ;o)
Librarian Extraordinaire on 30 Nov 2005 at 12:25 am #
Maybe it’s a pride issue for you, but can’t you just make turkey burgers?
kyknoord on 30 Nov 2005 at 8:21 am #
Be afraid…
Liz on 06 Dec 2005 at 4:29 am #
I just had my first huge T-giving hosting experience this year. It went well, thanks muchly to the wine.
Wine always helps.