“Hey… when I leave here I’m going to run by Lowe’s and Home Depot and return those cabinet door handles we decided we didn’t like.”

“Okay.”

“Can I do anything else while I’m out? Do you want me to go ahead and pick up a stripper?”

“Blink… blink…”

“For the cabinets. A wood stripper.”

“Blink… blink…”

“STOP THAT! You know what I mean!”

“No. I do not need you to pick up a stripper. Wood or otherwise. The sheets in the guest room are dirty.”

“You’re no fun.”

Moral of the story kids? EMBRACE ADJECTIVES. They may very well be the difference in you driving to Lowe’s to return cabinet pulls and being found in a bloody pool with a very stabby stiletto in your eyeball.