I swear… I’ve been writing something for like 4 days now. Life is whipping my ass. I am going to Mexico in less than a month and I will be spending an entire blissful week on the beach while a cabana boy brings me fruity beverages. I decided to let Patrick go too… because I’m not an asshole. I bet you didn’t know that about me.

But seriously… there was a toilet on the side of the road and it made me have to tell you a story about where I live. I’m working on that shit but then my dad keeps asking me to do my job. And then Patrick does the same thing and I reconsider my generous gesture of allowing him to go to Mexico with me.

The travel agent told me I would not be decapitated by a drug cartel while I was there. I’m holding her to that.