Okay. Brace yourselves because I am about to do a 180 like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Remember that time? Where I was all lah-de-da, internet friends are the bestest friends EVER and all is good and perfect and lovely and if you don’t like it then you are just wrong and stupid?

Guess what sucks about internet friends? When they die. And you don’t know one single person who actually face to face knew them. So all you know is that they are gone. They’ve been gone for over a week. But you just found out and you briefly wonder if maybe that is the secret reason you haven’t slept well unmedicated in the past week but maybe that’s just you being selfish and WHY DID SHE DIE? What fucking happened? I have nobody to call or email or show up on their doorstep.

Elyse. You were my very first internet friend. I’ve known you longer than I’ve been married. You were the only person I ever knew who loved live music like I did. We met on a 90210 website for fuck’s sake. You built my two little homes on the internet. You never failed to listen to me, comfort me and make me laugh my ass off. You were my introduction into this whole notion that your friends didn’t have to be the people you physically encountered every day.

I have no idea what happened. Were you sick and never mentioned it? Was there an accident? Did you succumb to the darkness you fought every single day? I have no idea. I just know that I loved you and that you are gone. You are gone just when it felt like you were finding a little light. Farewell my friend. I love you so very much.