It seems that at the end of the year, you can’t go anywhere on the internets without being smacked with some sort of “Year in Retrospect” post or “Best of 2009” list. And I suppose that’s only natural. The end of the year does lend itself to some degree of naval-gazing and what better place to get it all off your chest than right here. I mean, that’s why we write, isn’t it? We feel like we have something valid to say and at some point, some person without realizing the damage they were causing to our future and to the poor souls who would eventually become our “audience” encouraged us with a little giggle at a wisecracking essay or even an unfortunate “you’re a REALLY good writer” and then shit all rolled downhill…

But I’m probably getting ahead of myself.

I checked this morning. My naval contained nothing but lint and overall, 2009 SUCKED donkey balls and I have no desire to recap the year that was broadcast on this all busted uterus all the time with a side of dead grandmother channel. I cried. We all cried. 2009 was the year of the cry. To borrow a turn of phrase from the formerly loved (but now I kind of think he’s a douche) Fresh Prince, my life got flip turned upside down.

Also? I went totally fangirl crush crazy for a movie star. And I am distinctly too old for this shit so I will say no more about that and Chris Pine and roles he’s played in a VERY dirty dream or two. Except to say that I ASSURE you I am incapable of bending like that…

So maybe forward is the way to look? I have to look in SOME direction, don’t I? Otherwise I’ll fall down and bust my ass and let’s be honest, I require NO HELP in that department.

I guess the most obvious place to start is with the whole uterus fiasco. (I KNOW. Sometimes I feel like I should pay the internet my co-pay with the details you know about my lady bits. I’m sorry. It could be worse… probably…somehow…) It will soon be January. And the baby psychic (yes, you read that correctly… KEEP UP!) told me that January was the month I would find out I was pregnant. I’m not putting a whole lot of faith in that but it’s out there.

This most recent cycle (of which we are currently in the wait and see stage) has the potential to result in many, many babies and I won’t lie… I’m a little freaked. I had four eggs. FOUR. That’s a third of the way to a dozen. That’s reality show territory. But we’ll deal with that as it happens. Details (if they develop) to come. I promise.

You may have noticed that there was no mad frenzy of Christmas baking. Some of you may have noticed an absence of poorly packaged cookies in your mailbox. I thought about making them. I TRIED to get excited about making them. And then I would just cry. And miss my grandmother. So I just… took a year off. But they WILL be back next year, I promise!!

Fine. Despite my protests I guess this is a little retrospective. What can I say? It was a really strange year. But I survived it and even learned a few things so it wasn’t a total loss. Now if you’ll excuse me… I’ve got to stop typing because Patrick and I got a Wii for Christmas (shut up… MY last video game system was an Atari) and my swordfighting/wakeboarding/boxing injury is KILLING ME.