Ten years ago today, I was trying to figure out a way to sneak out of work early. I was checking and re-checking the bag of goodies I’d carefully assembled over the past few days. Tequila. Triple Sec. Limes. Killer Dress.

Ten years ago today, I was calling Amanda once every hour to make sure she remembered that we were having our “regular” Margarita Tuesday that had never before existed because until just a couple of months ago, we’d been too stoned on the days that ended in “Y” to know how to operate a blender.

Ten years ago today, I was trying to start my life over. I was leaving behind nearly all the people in my past, my addictions and my shortcomings. I was convincing myself that I could dare to be someone different.

Ten years ago today I was 21 and nervous about a first date. I knew him. I’d known him forever. But I was crossing my fingers and yes, even praying, that he didn’t know me. I was hanging my hopes on him not having heard anything about me in the past 5 years. He was a NICE boy. I didn’t want to scare him off.

Ten years ago today I was changing behind a bush in front of Amanda’s apartment because she was running late. I was having my nervous forehead sweat. I was breaking a buckle on the perfect shoes and ending up wearing flip flops. I was gathering a motley crew of friends of friends and bribing them not to smoke pot in front of him. I was nervously pacing and peeking around the corner watching for a VERY distinctive car to pull in the parking lot.

Ten years ago today I was harassing him for spending his mother’s birthday with ME while secretly hoping that was a sign that this might be the beginning of something.

Ten years ago today I was sitting cross legged on the floor, drinking a truly awful margarita (I’ve since perfected my recipe) and having an amazing conversation with this fascinating guy I’d known my whole life, the adorable brown eyed boy whom I’d once thought was about to kiss me when a strangely electrifying moment crept up on us one summer back in high school.

Ten years ago today I started falling in love.

Ten years ago today, I jumped him in the parking lot as soon as he said he remembered that moment back in high school and he’s always wondered what would have happened if he’d kissed me.

Ten years ago today, my life started over. My life with HIM began and I’ve never looked back.