Archive for December, 2011

Published by PaintingChef on 28 Dec 2011

The year that was and the year that will be.

Holy crap. Are you sick of reading “Year in Review” posts? I am and yet… I still find myself oddly drawn to them. I don’t think that I’ve ever actually written one though. I suppose I could write one short one to catch you up for all six (really? I’ve been doing this six years? JESUS. Shut up already. And actually it will be SEVEN years in February so there.) years that I’ve missed and it would go something like this… blah, blah, cake, shoes, asshole wife, no baby, baby, dead baby, rinse repeat, too much wine, 90210, more wine, awesome husband, DAMMIT PATRICK, cake, shoes, baking, painting, more wine and I’m spent.

So yes. There was that.

But I kind of feel like the past year was different. It was a completely and totally indulgently selfish year. It was, if you will, all about me. I didn’t focus on anything else and it was actually kind of a fabulous thing. For the first time in a really, really long time, I can honestly tell you that I like the me of December so very much more than I liked the me of January.

I have a long way to go. I’m still kind of ridiculously lazy but it’s a thinner lazy than before. I’m not AFRAID to get up off my ass and do something. You know, I’d just rather… not. It has been a full 4 months since I’ve hidden from anyone I knew in high school in the bathroom of a Walgreen’s so that I wouldn’t have to see that flash in their eyes when they go… um… OH! Hi. It’s been… a long time. While I hear their brain spinning out HOLY FATASS BATMAN!

I have embraced my love of baking again because I’m not scared of it anymore. I don’t feel guilty loving to cook because I think that’s what a fat girl should do. But I also don’t have a secret shame of cooking because I know I’m not going to eat a dozen cookies. I’ll have one. And then I’ll share them. And that makes me so much happier.

I planned a really fabulous vacation with my husband. A vacation truly worthy of the celebration he deserves for having been married to me for an entire decade without whacking me in the head repeatedly with a shovel and burying me under a barn somewhere whilst laughing maniacally and imagining the peace and quiet he can now enjoy without me walking into the room and screeching “DEAR GOD. We are NOT watching American Pickers or Storage Wars. Change the channel IMMEDIATELY!!”

Huh… was that… oddly detailed? What… that’s not normal? Shut your lying face hole.

I’ve kind of loved this year. It was a good one. It was a year that felt like I’d finally turned a corner in my life. I’m not where I want to be but it no longer feels unattainable.

And for the first time in a long time, I’m excited about the year to come. I have some cool stuff on the horizon. There is the aforementioned vacation (that’s HUGE!). There is, as the previous post might have implied, a new venture that I can’t wait to tell you about. There is the re-visiting of the fertility issue in the second half of the year (AFTER I go to Mexico and get my margarita on). There is another fun summer on the lake where I will hopefully not puss out after only one day of trying to wakeboard (YA’LL! The PAIN was unreal. My hands are not that grippy. I think I need a finger strengthener… ). Perhaps there are some ballet classes. I miss ballet so very much. Did you even know that about me?

There is an entire year out there that is waiting to be lived. In the past year this space was knocked down a few rungs. I wasn’t very present. That will probably happen more in the coming year but, unlike this past year, I am not going to let myself feel guilty of that. I have a lot of fulfilling things going on. I am endeavoring to spend more time living my life as opposed to writing about it on the internet.

(What I’m saying is that not much is going to change here, I just won’t feel the need to apologize for that and the very few of you that still read this can just be cool with that.)

Happy New Year my friends. Now get out there and punch 2012 in the junk.

Published by PaintingChef on 13 Dec 2011

A sneak peek at a new venture for 2012…

Published by PaintingChef on 08 Dec 2011

Because sometimes chocolate is the answer to everything.

The fact that I am sitting right here writing these words is a testament to the absolutely shit-balls awesome guy I married. I say that because I’m alive to type this.

Ten years later.

He hasn’t killed me yet.

It’s probably weird that we have been married for ten years and it’s still just us. Two dogs. Two cats. Two hundred and twelve shoes. Three Kitchen-Aid mixers (thanks Neena.) But here we are. Still us.

I think there would be no argument from anyone, least of all my dearly beloved, when I say that I’ve put the man through his paces over the past decade. He’s a saint, I know it and I’m damn lucky to have him.

Nothing about our life looks like I thought it would 10 years into our marriage. Granted 10 years ago, I had no idea what I WANTED our life to look like in this far-off, imaginary year where surely to GOD the cars would fly and someone would have figured out a solution to that whole pesky laundry and vacuuming situation, but I’m pretty damn certain that it did not involve living back in Tennessee and working together. For my father. And probably there were kids… and more cats…

But here we are. And guess what? I’m kind of blissed out. And m very, very wise peanut butter filled chocolate afternoon treat just gave me a very valuable piece of information…

Happy 10 years babe. Damn, you’re a lucky bastard.

Published by PaintingChef on 05 Dec 2011

And there was a winner. Also? Happy Meals vs. Happy Buckets.

So… you guys don’t TOTALLY follow directions but I’m going to let it slide because there are only a few of you and despite having a cold, dead, black heart I do kind of love you. So there’s that…

There were 8 comments, 7 of which were stories but all 8 are going to count and the stories were HYSTERICAL. You are all too clever and I ended up having to leave it to Random.org to decide. It seemed only fair. I considered the two comments on the original post #1 and #2 (hee… accidental bathroom humor. Never gets old.) and the 6 comments on the second post 3-8. Make sense?

I don’t care. It makes sense to me. I thought about moving everyone’s comments to the original post but that seemed a little like forgery plus it was also complicated and I had other stuff to do.

Anyway… the winner is #4!! Amy of Supervelma!! You get a happy bucket!! (The phrase Happy Bucket makes me thing of those old school McDonald’s Halloween happy meals with the witch or pumpkin or ghost trick or treat buckets. Does anyone else remember those? They barely held any candy. It was very disappointing.)

Also… as previously mentioned. No actual happy bucket exists.