Painting Chef - Cheaper Than Therapy

Every couple has their strengths and their weaknesses. Patrick and I are no exception to this rule.

In my opinion we are good at entertaining as long as people don’t mind talking about our dogs or watching me wrestle a cat. Usually I am feeding them lots of wine and some cake so they don’t mind too much…

We are good at lake things and I’m coming dangerously close to dragging Patrick behind the boat without running him into a buoy or a wayward barge. Sometimes we even bring other people with us. And not once has anyone jumped overboard and made a break for it…

And we are pretty good at working together in the same office where we have to be here at the same time… all day in the same place. At the same job. TOGETHER. WITHOUT KILLING EACH OTHER. Did I mention all the FANFUCKINGTASTIC togetherness?

Ahem… moving on.

We are NOT good at traveling. We are BAD travelers. I overpack and Patrick overplans. I consider vacation the wrong time to fret over what we are spending and that makes Patrick want to stab me in the throat. I like to meander and Patrick wants to get there. He’s a planner. I’m a… well there’s no word for it really, I’m just damn lazy. I can lie on a beach and do nothing all day quite nicely thank you very much. Patrick cannot and that makes me sad for him. I feel as though his inner sloth never fully developed and despite all my fine work of teaching by example things just aren’t changing in that area any time soon.

This all conspires to make us BAD at vacation. (Are you crying inside? It’s okay… I am too.) And so because of this we have taken precious few vacations that don’t involve traveling WITH or TO someone related to us.

But soon that will all change because we? Are going on a CRUISE! I am so very excited about this trip. We are going on a cruise with some friends in about 2 weeks.

2 weeks? But Susannah! (you say) Isn’t that about how long it will be until you now if your latest round of stabby needles and angry pills and turkey basters had any effect whatsoever on your still barren and cobweb-riddled uterus?

Why yes. Thanks for asking. Exactly three days after finding out this bit of news I shall be boarding a very large boat for the Caribbean where I will either drown my sorrows in many fine, fine rum concoctions or I will nourish my GLEE (do you watch that show? do you love it?) with many many tropical fruit items and virgin strawberry daiquiris. WITH WHIPPED CREAM.

But regardless of my emotional state when we board the boat, it is going to be a well-needed vacation where neither of us have to think or plan beyond sunscreen and a deck chair.

The past 6 months have been very hard on us. I haven’t wanted to get into it on here lest this become the “all infertility all the time” network but “The Plan”? She isn’t cooperating. Things aren’t going the way I thought they would. Every cycle brings about a baby step in the right direction but at this pace… well… they probably don’t have Labor and Delivery in the nursing homes, do they?

The stress is getting to me. I find my mind wandering, my work slipping, I’m not sleeping well. My life is lived between pills and injections and IUI’s. I gauge my calendar by doctor’s appointments, blood work and ultrasounds. This trip couldn’t be coming at a better time.

We need to be good at this.

Blogging is kind of like high school. Everyone has their little niches and groups. There are the mommy bloggers, of course. There are political bloggers, infertility bloggers, food bloggers, music bloggers, gossip bloggers, television bloggers, the list goes on forever. And the internet as a whole tries to fit everyone into one of these categories all nice and neat-like and when it cannot label you precisely, it becomes somewhat uncomfortable with you.

At times I’ve been close to being shoe-horned into the infertility blogger category but quite frankly, there is nobody that needs to hear about my busted uterus and punk ass ovaries on that regular of a basis aside from my doctor and my husband.

Were I reliable enough to take my camera out in the kitchen on a regular basis, I could probably be a food blogger but then what if I want to talk about my uterus and I’ve recently made a strawberry pie? Nobody needs those two things next to each other. That’s just messy. Besides… I’m not sure if I want you to know just how deep my loves for Velveeta Shells and Cheese is when I have a blog names “PaintingChef”.

And what of the painting? Oh internet… I am creatively tapped right now. I have not picked up a paintbrush in so long that it aches. My paints and brushes are becoming that friend that you NEED to call and you THINK about calling but eventually it has been so long that you just feel awkward and then it’s like… well what am I going to say? What’s my excuse?

But I digress… the internet is positively BURSTING with incredible writers who don’t fit into one specific category. What are we? Are we life bloggers? Are we here’s what’s on my mind bloggers? Well, someone brilliantly defined us. We are Indie Bloggers. We write about the things that move us. We write about the things that keep us awake at night, the questions that cause us to zone out, the situations and interactions we observe and try to understand. But what often moves us more than anything is the writing itself. We are people who are captivated by extraordinary writing.

Stacey Campbell of Jurgen Nation (fellow canine enthusiast, truly kick ass photographer and my long time MAJOR girl crush) once put together a website that showcased the very best of this long-overlooked genre. Sadly, life got in the way, as it has a habit of doing, and the website went by the wayside. However at the recent urging of those of us who regularly submitted our writing to the site, she has decided to revive it, provided we get off our slackerific asses and pitch in.

In preparation of the re-launch, comb your archives. Find your favorite post. Write something new. There are some people out there I FULLY expect to be involved in this project. You know who you are and you’ve been warned…

Have you ever just had a day where you can’t be described as anything other than “Fired Up”? Because today? That’s me…

I am fired up from multiple directions but the most pressing is this whole Presidential Address to the schools thing. WHY is that such a big deal? People are sending in letters that they don’t want their children subjected to Barack Obama’s speech. Schools are censoring the speech or just not carrying it at all. People are REALLy getting their panties in a bunch over this.

Here’s what I don’t understand…

Do people HONESTLY think that the President is trying to push his health care reform plan on second graders? Is he planning on officiating a same-sex marriage on television (that he doesn’t even believe in… boo on him)? Maybe perform an abortion? Oh my GOD IS HE GOING TO RECYCLE!?!?

Good lord. No. Of course not. He is going to encourage students to do well in school. To work hard and reach their potential. He is probably going to talk about volunteer work and getting involved in their communities. Since when is that message so dangerous to the kids in our schools?

Hey parents… here’s a new flash. Barack Obama isn’t planning on talking to your kids about taxes and the federal budget unless he says to them “Hey kids! Work hard in math class! This budget stuff is complicated, yo!” He’ll probably tell a story or two about when he was in school and talk about what he dreamed of doing when he grew up. It might even be… ENCOURAGING!

Why must we immediately assume that everything is political?

Also on my shit list today? My uterus.